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Decode Your Relationship Compatibility In One Hour

Author Name: Tracee Dunblazier
Publish Date: November 14, 2014
Website Link: http://www.meetmindful.com/read-date-one-hour/

Tracee Dunblazier is back to help demystify those first date instincts about any potential partner, and ultimately decode your partner compatibility.


Meeting new people can be nerve wracking. Especially when you’re just starting on the internet dating scene. I think the web is an amazing place to learn to trust your instinct, be yourself and be present right off the bat. If you’ve been single for awhile you know that in the olden days (when we actually had to go out and meet people) we could rely on all of our senses. We could see, hear, smell, touch and feel what was going on with our date at first meeting.

Today you’ve got to rely on your intuition and instinct, and there is a difference. Instinct is literally your gut feeling. Sometimes a pain or bad feeling in your mid section can warn of unpleasant experiences ahead. Intuition, on the other hand, is a subtle experience. Gaining awareness of what you think, say and feel about yourself when you’re with your date. You’ve got to be honest with yourself these days. However, judging, transferring your issues or taking someone’s “inventory” while on a date will ensure your lack of companionship.

A few times in my life I’ve dated from the internet. I really enjoyed the experience because it taught me how to be in the moment when originally, my focus was on fear and judgment. I learned to experience detachment and acceptance of others. I met a series of interesting people and everyone I met, I read within the first hour.

One guy was very engaging in the instant message and email stage of courtship…but off putting. He was “busy all the time,” so when we finally got on the phone I definitely had a sense of familiarity. In the first two minutes of the call, I said to myself, “what a sad sack,” and then of course, went out with him anyway. As you might expect, no love connection there. His cup was half-empty, he was dominantly self serving and used his self importance to cover up his fear of emotional pain and intimacy.

I learned all of that in the three dates I had with him, but I had initially wrapped it up with a nice little bow in those first two minutes. It was one of the biggest lessons I learned about accepting people as they are and finding peace in the decisions I make from the information I have. If I’d listened to myself, I wouldn’t have gone on date one.

Listen to Yourself

The real meat of reading someone is paying attention to the subtle thoughts and behaviors that you have while in their presence. Truth transcends time and space and the information will always be there as you train your awareness. Nothing says you have to overcome discomfort or just go out with someone to be nice. It’s important to be open-hearted but not compromise on the elements that you value the most.

Pay attention to these five things:

Your Initial Feelings

Paying attention to the subtle images and feelings that you have with someone will give you a lot of information. The truth will never offend you. If someone says or does something that offends you, it may not be about their character, but more an indicator that you don’t have the same values or the best compatibility based on place in life, age or circumstance. Keep in mind that these little emotional or psychic messages are your spirits way of telling you about your needs.

Your Body

Charming people can be captivating and enchanting, so pay attention to where in your body you have feelings. The lower gut is an emotional connection and may let you know that you have similar emotional traumas. The stomach area is your personal power center and based on good or bad feelings can show that you are supported, empowered or in danger. The heart area is where we experience a compassionate connection and similar ideals. Feeling energy in your throat or head relates to thoughts, ideas and communication. For example, if your throat feels like it’s closing up, you or your date may have fear or doubt in communication.

Your Thoughts

One of the harbingers of an enduring relationship is connecting with a person that makes you feel stronger and more inspired than you were. Independence always accompanies a true love. The two pillars of a good relationship are letting someone be who they are and change who they are.

Physical Responses

People who are being dishonest, either to themselves or you, will show you. The amateur will show an extreme emotional reaction either in resistance or acceptance of an idea. The professional liar is a little more understated as is revealed through things like pupil dilation, nodding no when they are saying yes or expressing some sort of facial or physical tick (like a nose crinkle or shoulder shrug when they are telling you how well they did in the stock market).

The Pace

If it feels like someone is moving too fast, they are. They could have an agenda for the relationship (or you) that has nothing to do with you. Remember that enduring relationships take time and people who are ready, willing and able don’t mind taking it.

Your initial feelings are always right on target and will come in waves of intensity based on priority. If you have a dramatic response like sickness, pain or anxiety, you may not be safe. If that happens, don’t worry about being rude. Remove yourself from the situation and get yourself to safe surroundings. You can take time to figure out why you’re experiencing it later.

Having a strong passion or immediate sexual attraction isn’t always a sign of sexual compatibility or destiny, but an emotional connection often with trauma as its common denominator. Once it gets worked through the strong sexual feelings will subside and you will need a solid base of friendship to build on. Receiving good feelings of peace and calm when you connect with someone is always auspicious. Remember that all relationships take work and reading someone in the first hour is not to judge their character but to recognize any possible deal breakers. People are layered with rich lives and your instinct always knows who is worthy of your discovery.

[image via Lauren Hammond on flickr]

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About the Author:

Tracee Dunblazier Tracee Dunblazier

Tracee Dunblazier, GC-C, CCDC, spiritual empath, shaman, educator, author and speaker is based in Los Angeles, California. Tracee specializes in grief counseling, energy dynamics, Shamanic healing, past life and soul recovery, transition strategy, addiction transformation, and space clearings. In 2015, Tracee founded GoTracee Publishing LLC and BeASlayer.com to publish a new hybrid of self-help, memoir, and spiritual book to access a wider audience of spiritual seekers. As a multi-sensitive, Tracee blends information that she receives intuitively with different modalities to create a unique healing plan for every client. Every session is focused on freeing the client from their presenting issue to release, empower, and heal – no matter what the condition. Tracee’s compassionate, humorous, down-to-earth style supports and empowers clients as tender topics are addressed during the session. An accomplished author, Tracee has written two books on the topic of personal soul excavation and deep healing from soul to body. Book one: The Demon Slayer’s handbook: A Practical Guide to Mastering Your Inner World addresses inner mental, emotional, and spiritual mastery through self-awareness and spirit guide communication. Book two: The Demon Slayer’s handbook: A Practical Guide to Self- Healing and Unconditional Love empowers cultural awareness and understanding through looking at the concept of past lives and soul imprints. Tracee’s published articles cover many subjects related to spirituality and relationships while her blog breaks down current events and daily energy dynamics that everyone experiences. Tracee’s been a guest on many prominent television and radio programs informing others about spirituality and sacred ritual practices. Tracee teaches workshops, webinars, and offers two online courses on the DailyOm.com. As well as speaking engagements touching on subjects like grief, death & dying, unconditional love, self- acceptance, and healing.

The Biltmore Haunting: A Real Snooze- Until it wasn’t

Every year I go on a spiritual healing journey, most often wherever I’m travelling. I offer a healing for the lands and the conflicts: past and present, that still reside there. The spirits of people who’ve lived or gotten lost there, and I look to be a conduit for those who may be holding on to tell their story. I’ve done healing journeys in; Baton Rouge, New Orleans. Albuquerque, New York, and Savannah to name a few. But, never Los Angeles. My home for the last 20 years. (Except, for the places I’ve lived, of course.)

This Halloween, I chose Downtown Los Angeles and The Millennium Biltmore Hotel to investigate for the healing journey. I’ve been to the Biltmore a few times and know she is haunted! However, as an empath, I have two ghost settings. One: I see you, tell me what’s going on. And, two: I feel you but not going to deal with you right now. The latter has been the setting of choice the few times I’ve been to the Biltmore. Let me tell you— I rarely get surprised, but what happened at the Biltmore left me rattled for days.

The Biltmore Haunting: A Real Snooze— Until it Wasn’t

Halloween at the fancy Millennium Biltmore Hotel, you’d think, would prove to be bustling with activity— seen or unseen. Located in Downtown Los Angeles the Biltmore was born in 1921 for ten million, extravagant, cozy and home of the very first Academy Awards. Talk about #OscarsSoWhite.

Just after checking into room 951 that looked out on Pershing Square, I ran out to survey the hood. One important thing to understand about hauntings? Sometimes buildings are haunted, but people are always haunted.

Heading down 5th towards Spring, the street was laced with the afflicted. Afflicted with the voices from beyond. Many of my compadres had gone the way of self-medication while others seemed to enjoy and embrace their multiplicity. Sometimes apparent in their fashion choices. A young man (seemingly homeless for the most part) was dressed in incredibly dirty striped balloon pants, a flannel shirt, some sort of jacket tied around his waist, and the final crown jewel: a brightly colored jester’s hat. Of course, it was Halloween. But, the layer of dirt that covered him and the sweat on his brow on a cool day— coupled with the complete comfort he felt talking smack with his friends on the street corner all pointed to this being his home of sorts. His eyes were wide and bright and his joyful spirits seemed to play him like a fiddle.

Moving through a crowd of about ten homeless folk who seemed to gently smile and create space for me on the sidewalk, I did the New York thing, and crossed the street in the middle and at a diagonal where the destination I had in mind was waiting, fairly brave as they ticket for that in L.A. The Last Bookstore is by far the most haunted place I’ve been in a while. A huge multi-leveled used boo-store (pun intended) with concrete and Moroccan looking mosaic floors— balconies everywhere you looked. The interior was appropriately dressed with spiders and webs for the holiday, however, the Gothic or Emo flair and pleasant rudeness of the employees and customers seemed to set the daily tone.

Yet, still no cries for help from the other side. I go on the hunt for hauntings because often all the spirits want is to tell their story or find completion in some way. There didn’t seem to be anything trying to get my attention. It had been hours already, roaming the floors of the Biltmore until I ended up in the bathroom of the historic corridor of the hotel. Absolutely vacant, I’d not seen another soul…or person for that matter in at least an hour when I crossed the path of an employee. The bathroom had well preserved 1930’s ceramic coral colored tiles and cleaned gold leaf mirrors of the same era. Something caught my attention as I surveyed the room and saw the back stall with the toilet seat up. I took silent refuge in a stall around the corner and immediately the toilet in the other stall flushed.

 Finally!!!

A little paranormal activity is better than nothing. So startling, it made me laugh out loud. I thanked whoever it was for letting me know they were there and left the room a little lighter and more joyful. But, still not the story I’d come for.

It wasn’t until late, a story from the nightly news of a young Canadian woman was being broadcast. A few years ago, she’d come to the city of angels for a visit and ended up, naked, in the rooftop water tank of the then, Cecil Hotel, just a few blocks away from me. I couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night. I tossed and turned in the energy of what happened to her.

In the story, they claimed the young woman suffered from mental illness and her death was ruled an accident. Right, blame it on the crazy girl. No matter the woman’s sufferings I was certain her death wasn’t an accident: It smacked of murder to me: was this the story I’d come to the Biltmore to tell? Her spirit wasn’t present and beckoning me. Where ever she was, I felt her spirit was safe.

     No, it was death of the unsuspecting that continued to pull on me.

Soon there was a crowd of spiritual images before me. Men and women of all ages and from different decades. Some were jumpers or pill overdoses, some had been ripped from life by the hand of another. These weren’t discarnate spirits needing to be delivered. No, the massive force of their collective was the message. These were all the people who’d lost their lives in a five-block radius in the last 100 years. Some reported and some never to be acknowledged again.

Finally, my mind adjusted to a slight young woman with light brown hair, her name was Genevieve. She was dressed in a white cotton negligée from the 1930’s. Not necessarily sexy, but not upsetting either. Genevieve was a girl of simple means who’d come to Los Angeles to change that— but ended up at the bottom of an empty bottle of pills at the Biltmore. She must’ve had some brain damage just before her death because she seemed disoriented—not quite sure of where she was, forlorn, and unable to speak. Whoever she’d been with left in the middle of the night with no idea of her condition.

I prayed for an honest completion of the end of what seemed to be only half of a life. I also prayed for her to forgive herself and the others involved. I find it’s mostly those who aren’t able to forgive themselves who stick around until they can. She seemed to disappear as quietly as she came.

As I settled into the depravity of the many young women and men for whom no one cared or who’d been left behind. Those who came to Los Angeles for a way out of the lives they were living and sadly, found it. My heart opened to them in that dimly lit place.  I prayed for their clarity and understanding of the choices and beliefs that brought them to their untimely end. For all the pieces of hidden language, they didn’t recognize. For all the responsibility, they were left to shoulder for the ignorance and hatred of another. I prayed for them to find forgiveness for themselves and those who misjudged, took advantage, or abused them.

Truly, these are deep and richly transformative times. It’s impossible to know another’s sorrow or perspective unless you are willing to carry it, at least for a moment. This kind of selflessness isn’t owned by everyone so let’s make a pact.

A pact to carry ourselves with accountability. To judge and evaluate ourselves and not others. To find forgiveness for the things we can’t change and acceptance of others as they are. And accordingly, to embrace that doing these things: Is Love.

 

 

Stop, Drop, and Roll in Your Mind: How to Handle Fear in these Tumultuous Times

BeASlayer.com-An excerpt from The Demon Slayer’s Handbook: A Practical Guide to Mastering Your Inner World Book 1, Chapter 3: The Raven

“Don’t worry: It’s just your imagination

Demons can capitalize the most on your creative process as it is closest to their dimension. They capitalize by amplifying your fear and negative thinking and sometimes by embellishing it to the point that your fears seem to manifest. There are specific demons for whom this is the only activity in which they engage. This is the reason it is paramount to understand and know your strengths and vulnerabilities and to be clear on the path of the creative process. It is no wonder artists throughout history have personified the Devil and demon battle with their art. Those wily bastards desperately don’t want you to think clearly, express your truth, or feel love in any way…if they can help it.

I have always had an active imagination. Anything I have ever done, I spent hours on it in my mind first. It would appear that my personality dictates that I am impetuous and impulsive, but in fact I am not. The countless hours of daydreaming are now called visioning as I am a mature professional. But really, it’s just daydreaming, sorting out every detail of an action and its consequences, or every word in a conversation, in order to fully recognize my full meaning and intention so as to own every ripple I make.

Daydreaming has even been the way I stay prepared for the world that I live in, picturing myself cleaning my house, dancing without care, and even warding off evil with complete and unequivocal success. It has also been the way I am able to tolerate witnessing for someone some of the most unimaginable sufferings that this world has to offer. My inner crime fighter is a combination of Storm, Wonder Woman, and Bruce Lee. I always loved the way Wonder Woman stopped a speeding bullet, or Storm changed the entire environment with a little focus and arm swinging. Somehow I have always seen that as possible.

Obviously, imagining having a better life is not necessarily a new theme, but a recent trip and fall triggered a reflection on how many times my meanderings of the mind have prepared me to be safe, sane, courageous, physically adept, and joyful in the physical world.

Stop, drop, and roll in my mind

The other day, as I walked down the street to meet a friend at the local café, I tripped. Plunging forward, somehow I caught myself and kept walking. The trip made me realize that I forgot something at home, so I turned back. I tripped again in the exact same spot. This time I was going down. In that split second of falling I thought to myself, I will not be hurt by this. My shoulder automatically turned in and I tucked and rolled. If there had been a little more momentum, then I would have landed on my feet again.

There I lay in the middle of the sidewalk in a little ball, without even a scratch, laughing. I easily got up, and surprisingly nothing was hurt. As I walked to the café, my heart swelled with joy.

You see, I spend a lot of time wondering what I would do if I had to get out of the way of a speeding car, escape from a burning building, or fend off an attacker. So, I often visualize the dive and roll, or the roundhouse kick to the jaw. I imagine that my legs are strong and my form is impeccable. Of course, I don’t spend all day on these things, but several times a day I catch myself in little, thirty-second snippets questioning what I would do if this or that happened. I always visualize the answer, and that day I had proof that it is not time wasted.

Hip-hop in my mind

I love to dance. I went to NYC and dancing was to be a part of my repertoire. I quickly learned that I was more of a choreographer than a dancer, and I definitely was not an athlete. I held so much emotion in my gut, and those feelings always found a way to come pouring out. That’s workable for yoga class, but definitely not for ballet or even jazz.

The thing that I got from dance was learning to move with the flow of the universe, bending, weaving, and being a conduit for the universal life force. Thinking in this way brought to me an ultra-awareness of the subtle influx of change and how to move with it instead of against it; how to move towards the steps I could do, and do them well, always seeing myself becoming good at the things I wasn’t good at just yet.

Hip-hop dance was just blooming at the time, and I was awful at it. You really need great balance to be good at hip-hop, and imbalance is my specialty. However, in my mind, I am amazing. I can even do flips; get up with one leg, no hands; and the ol’ slide and spin. I always feel invigorated after a thirty-second hip-hop session in my mind.

I want to throw in here that many of us spend hours of time per week imagining awful things happening or fearfully visualizing the exact outcome we don’t want. It is a part of our mental nature to replay, over and over in our mind, a distasteful or traumatic experience we had or fear having. Add that to some human’s extraordinary skill at telepathy and you could have a situation in which a tidal wave of unwanted thoughts and then feelings that aren’t yet real—or even yours for that matter—begin to manifest.

The thing that I got from dance was learning to move with the flow of the universe, bending, weaving, and being a conduit for the universal life force.

 

That brings me to another real-world application. I was at the doctor’s office one morning, and walking out the door just before me was a lady who was clearly on her last appointment before the baby came. Her husband was about twenty feet away talking to reception when I opened the door for her and motioned her to go before me.

She smiled and softly said, “Thank you.”

Something was not right in her voice. Without thinking about it, my body began to drop to one knee about the same time that I realized that she was going to pass out. It was only a few seconds before I had the full weight of her sitting on the impromptu chair I had created with my knee. Her husband noticed at the point her head fell back on my shoulder. She was out.

He and the nurse came running over and we shared an awkward glance, as if to say, Is this your pregnant wife on my lap? She came to. They got her some juice and helped her to a real chair.

The husband said, “Thanks.”

I replied, “No problem,” and walked out the door and moved on with the day. As I laughed to my car, I thought, “I really love hip-hop.”

Bruce lee in my mind

I had a poster of Bruce Lee in my room literally all my childhood. I always felt a special connection to him and to the martial arts. The concept of using an opponent’s energy against her, or summoning and directing universal chi, always resonated with me. However, like I said, I am only an athlete in my mind. So when I took those six months of jujitsu, it was a bit of a struggle. Sparring just for the sake of sparring did not make sense to me. My kung fu was definitely magical like the old Chinese martial arts movies. Flying through the air for a triple running kick—now how could that possibly help me in my future? Well, I found that warding off evil began with making some personal decisions: (1) deciding you’re not going to be a victim; (2) deciding that you will not be around violence or that violence cannot be within or around you; and (3) knowing that the universal life force flows through you and you can align with it.

One Sunday evening around dusk, as I was walking down an old cobblestone street on the Lower East Side of NYC, I saw these two gentlemen walking on the other side of the street; they were eyeing me and I knew they weren’t gentlemen at all. Even though it was still early, the street was vacant and quiet. I needed to cross to their side of the street to get to the train, so just as they passed, I crossed diagonally to end up behind them on the same sidewalk.

Just as I stepped into the street, so did they. They were causing me to directly confront them. Knowing that the meeting was inevitable, I said, in my mind, I will not have this. Whatever this is, I will not have it. Just as we crossed paths in the center of the street, the taller gentleman began to take something from the inside of his jacket. He raised his arm up above his head. With a clinched fist, the back of his hand was about to come down on me.

I raised two fingers to him, and said, “Uh uh,” as I shook my head.

He and his friend were so befuddled by this that he mimicked me, in a fairly high tone for a man, saying, “Uh uh,” and sort of waived his hands in confusion.

I just kept going and did not look back. When I got to the next block I broke down in tears and cried and laughed all the way home. As it turns out, the two-fingered hand position I gave him happened to be called the prana mudra, a yoga hand position that strengthens life force. It certainly did that night.

Day dreaming: more than it’s cracked up to be

Watching the evening news can be tumultuous, for some. Just getting through the day without worry in this sometimes desperate place that we all share is a feat. So I recommend that once a day in your quiet time, you answer one version of the question, “What would I do if…?” And since it is your vision, it can only end well for everyone. You never know when it will come in handy.”

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